One day, you’ll meet someone who will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.~Unknown
|photo by Jaime Prewitt|
One area of my life where I have felt like an expert in waiting has been my love life. For many years, I had a deeply rooted and misplaced identity in finding a husband/soulmate/life partner as my deepest and most important desire…Of course, I wouldn’t tell anyone that was the case. For a long time, I pretended like my relationship with God was the most important thing…and while I always wanted it to be, if I was honest, finding my husband was what I wanted more than anything. While I have always known that falling in love and marrying is a beautiful and wonderful gift from God, my desire for it became distorted, all consuming, and carefully veiled, lest someone discover that I wanted it so much more than I would admit. Unfortunately, more than once God gave me incredible opportunities in my career and circumstances, and I turned them away in lieu of a relationship that most always didn’t work out for one reason or another.
I am not proud of this fact, but it is the truth. I had to spend many years wrestling with God (a la ‘Jacob-style in the Bible) to come to a place of peace and healing. After many, many years, I finally understood that falling in love is an amazing and incredible thing, but it is not the only thing. It sounds like a cliche, but the moment I was finally at peace with my relationship with God being my focus and joy……
I’ll be talking more in future posts about my incredible husband and our story that was worth every single second of waiting – for both of us.
I have found the one whom my soul loves– Song of Solomon 3:4