A Reunion, a Beach and A Big Loss…

On Friday, after I’d had a full schedule of classes at the university {where I’m currently working on completing my degree}, my husband and I attended my high school reunion. 

It was more than a little surreal walking through the hallowed halls of my high school, showing my husband a part of my past.   We concluded the evening at a small cookout/barbecue with the members of the graduating class that had come for the first day of festivities.  I was thrilled to reconnect with a few old friends.

Such nostagia walking through these halls once again…

My husband and I had decided to compromise on our weekend festivities, in order to go everywhere we wanted to go, thus  I did not attend the rest of the reunion…which was definitely fine with me,

because…

My husband and I then went out of town, beginning early Saturday morning, for a brief weekend away with his {and now, our} friends.

It’s a yearly tradition amongst some of his best guy friends he’s known since childhood, and though they usually just take a ‘guys’ weekend each year on Labor Day, this time they decided to bring everyone’s wives and children and all of us stayed in beachfront condos in Florida.

That part of my weekend was divine…

 

The next part I’m going to tell you about WASNT.

When packing for my trip, I put various school texts and personal books in the front pocket of my suitcase.  {I knew that being on the beach it was only right to study my textbook from Oceanography, right?}  I also, being an avid journaler, had packed my personal journal.

…my beautiful, jam-packed with personal musings, dreams and narratives, made in Tuscany journal….

My beloved journal in Tuscany

I personally packed my journal into the front pocket of my suitcase early before our weekend flight.   {My husband even saw me do it!}   When we got to the parking lot of the airport, I checked the front pocket again to put something else in it,

…and the journal was gone.

At first, my mind went into a state of panic, but then I quickly came to my senses.  My inner monologue began:   “You just accidentally sat it down in the house when packing your suitcase.  You haven’t had a chance to get anywhere with it Silly Sarah- you just left the house!  Stop worrying–you’ll find it when you get home.”

Or so I thought.

As soon as I came home, sand still in the depth of my beach bag, a slight sun-kissed glow on my shoulders, I came into my room to find my journal and write.  “I was glad I had left it at home,” I thought. ” I’ll be able to take some time and reflect on the nostalgia and time away the weekend provided…”  That, unfortunately never happened.

It.

was

gone.

My sweet husband gets the kindness award for helping me tear the house up and down to look for my beloved book.  The whole disappearance is just perplexing to me!  The pocket on my suitcase wasn’t opened from the short few yards between our house door and the car door in the garage, and I realized it was gone before I even walked through the parking lot to get to the airport!  I keep hoping one day it will turn up, but my optimistic attitude I’m so good at adopting for others is harder to transfer to myself.

I keep thinking of everything I wrote in its ivory pages…

My travel narrative of our spring European travels, including Tuscany – where the journal was made…discoveries, revelations, playlists, dreams, aspirations, sermon notes, lists to accomplish…I even had pages of my current devotional tucked away in the back to complete on the beach…sigh..

I know this sounds like the most whiny post ever, but those of you in the wide, wide blogisphere who journal will understand this pain.  It feels like there is a little piece of my heart and soul floating around lost out in the world, and I confess to feeling much vulnerability at the thought of those words following into the wrong hands and on strangers eyes…

Of course, being an avid journaler, I can’t sit still and not replace this pretty little book.  If I don’t have a journal with me at all times; if the hope of putting pen to paper to clear the chatter in my mind isn’t available to me regularly;  my writer’s mind gets a little cluttered and nutty.

I must press into the thought of a bright side…I can now look forward to a little trip to the book shop to pick out my next journal volume….

Have you ever lost something, that while possibly insignificant to the rest of the world, meant the world to you?

 

2 comments on “A Reunion, a Beach and A Big Loss…

  1. oh girl. i am so sorry. i used to journal (when i didn’t have kids :)) and i understand… those pages hold our most sacred of thoughts. i still hold onto the hope that you’ll find it. and bless your dear husband for helping you look… thank you for linking with ip.

    1. Thanks so much for reading my post, and saying hello! 🙂 It’s so good to hear that someone else out there understands what I felt when I lost my journal. My husband was indeed, such a sweet soul about it – and I so appreciate that especially since he’s not really a writer, and it’s harder for him to understand. I love your site’s new look, and as always, love your imperfect prose! 🙂

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